Once people have a clear understanding of what you do not like, then there will be less chance of them doing it to you. If they continue to do what you do not like, then leave their retarded asses. Simple.
Jeremiah Dotson
And so begins my review of Jeremiah Dotson’s The Last Relationship Book You Will Ever Need.
The truth be told, I do not read ‘self-help’ or motivational books (I did not know this was one until I started it), but I would not need much convincing to believe that Dotson’s work is no reflection of the genre. For those of you who are inclined to read such works, specifically if you are seeking some introspection with regards to the state of a current or failed relationship, it is probably worth knowing in advance that you will not be getting any reference to Maslow’s hierarchy of needs, theoretical psychology models or citations of clinical research and published thesis from this book. Similarly, if you are hoping for some sort of New Age spiritual appraisals of the emotional dynamic of you and your other half, I’d give this a miss. Chances are this will be tough love.
Rather, this is Dotson giving you both barrels of his of his own uncensored opinions and philosophy, and it is the equivalent of having a nightclub doorman pushing an index finger into the centre of your chest.
You choose to deal with the asshole or retarded bitch you are presently dealing with. The difference is they never seemed like the asshole or retarded bitch when you first get involved.
Jeremiah Dotson
Dotson’s handles the subject matter with a writing style equivalent to an underground dog fight, and this will not be everyone’s cup of tea, specifically due to the amount of swearing and the reflection on gender politics in relationships. But regardless of your opinion of the content and the points made, and I do disagree with many of the points Dotson makes, the account is honest, personal and open, which make it easy to connect with the narrative.
And it is this which I increasingly found myself reflecting on as I read Dotson’s work. This is a book relating to relationships, and as such much of the impact of the book will be dependent on the needs of the reader. So while I suspect some will see his writing as being deliberately childish and crude, others will respond to the narrative more positively and see it as a frank attempt to get down to brass tacks.
If you buy a book with the intention of quitting smoking, and after reading it you stop, then it doesn’t matter whether the book contained an eloquent thesis, reams of data, or was hand written in coloured crayons. Similarly, if the unorthodox approach of Dotson’s writing enables you to connect and reflect on the subject, and either re-energises or provides clarity to a relationship, then I guess it is money and time well spent. If you find the language distasteful or struggle with the bluntly delivered home truths (and there are a number of poignant observations) then it is churlish to shoot the messenger.
So let me see if I’ve got this correct; I want something, probably more than anything else I can think of right now, but I will not accept it if it is offered in any manner other than the way I want it to be offered. Is it just me or does that sound incredibly fucking retarded?
Jeremiah Dotson
So, as someone who is reviewing this book as part of a wider strategy to help promote his own writing I can only really comment on what is written and not the impact of the message. The tone is brutally direct but is not preaching, and Dotson leaves enough of himself on the pages to give the sense that where not speaking from direct personal experience, this is an informed, if subjective truth.
The copy I read was pre-published so there are a number of proofing issues which I hope have been amended in the published book. It is divided into chapters, but more division and structure would really help tease out Dotson’s core message, and enable the reader to reflect back on observations. As the work repeatedly brings the reader back to core messages of honesty and communication additional structure could help reduce repetition (though I acknowledge this might be to the detriment to the personal tone of the writing).
You give a woman some socks on mother’s day and she will lose her fucking mind.
Jeremiah Dotson
The message is blunt, but there are nuggets of gold in them thar hills.